Youth Voices DVD

Talking and listening

Boy 1 - Because it is a rough time growing up and you know being a teenager.

Girl 1 - I think parents need to know that when you’re like a teenager you will be changing like your attitude, you’ll be acting different and stuff.

Boy 2 - Just when your parents actually just say please and thank you it’s actually really nice it’s, they’re actually asking you to do something not, rather than demanding it.

Girl 2 - It makes you feel like they are attacking you and they’re talking down to you but when they’re talking to you more like as an equal it makes you like listen more and understand. You understand like much easier what they’re trying to tell you

Girl 3 - You know just the whole, the whole communication thing, is plays a big part of everything really and if you don’t have that then it sort of stuffs everything else up.

Limits and boundaries

Boy - There needs to be enough freedom so you have respect of them and, but there have to be reasonable boundaries so you’re not going crazy and doing like, whatever.

Girl 1 - You have to understand why they are setting these boundaries but they also have to understand why you want to do like the things you want to do.

Girl 2 - There should always be boundaries and I can accept that they don’t give me the freedom that I need sometimes, it’s just really annoying.

Discipline

Boy 1 - They don’t really tell me what to do they just say they expect this of me and hope that I achieve and it helps.

Boy 2 - As a teenager it is kind of, you explore the grey areas such, cause um, so instead of discipling your kids it is more you kind of got to discuss it and through it as such.

Boy 3 - If we are reasoning we are on the same level and if, um, like they hit me or anything it’s, puts them a step above me and it gives me that insecurity of um, being kind of afraid of them.

Girl 1 - As soon as you lay a hand on your child you basically lose the respect that they have for you and then it just keeps on like building up like you know like keep fighting and just gets all bad.

Boy 4 - I sort of tune out and start thinking oh, they are yelling at me again, come on, all I have done is not done the dishwasher or why do they have to yell. So, but if when they talk to me calmly I usually actually go do it because, and I actually listen rather than tuning out.

Girl 2 - Cause it makes me feel angry and annoyed and it doesn’t really yeah just makes me want to be smart to my parents or something.

Boy 4 - Even though I know they do love me it makes me feel unloved because yeah, it just does.

Boy 6 - You sort of lose weeks or months from a relationship that you could still have there and has to start again slowly and there is usually bits that need patching up and stuff but if they hadn’t yelled at you and they had just showed some sort of compassion and just said well you did this wrong, this is what should have been done the whole rips and tears in the realtionship wouldn’t be there.

Boy 1 - Love, respect and trust are the most important things. I mean being harsh isn’t going to help the situation, isn’t going to change any mistakes that he has made or she has made.

Spending time

Girl 1 - The best way for parents to show their teen that they still care and love them is um, you know just to be um, interested in what they’re doing and it is just the basic things but even if they are basic it is a real big impact on the teen.

Girl 2 - Sometimes um, I get a bit sad when I know that they are like busy and they never really have time for you and em yeah, it is just good that they don’t have to be at work all the time or have chores so that they can just sit down and, relax and just enjoy it.

Boy 1 - Just talking about things that are going on in my life and either going shopping or just playing games together and that’s very important to me. I cherish that time I have with my parents doing that.

Expectation

Boy 1 - Their lack of pride in me like if I do something stupid and wrong, they’ll tell me they’re disappointed and they will tell me that I have done something wrong and I have to fix it, I have to take responsibility for what I have done.

Boy 2 - The worst thing, well at least in my case, I can do to my parents is actually disappoint them cause I don’t want to do that and that’s probably the best punishment which can be created.

Love and warmth

Girl 1 - Forget about anything that’s happened and just hold your child or children in the arms and just be like as if, it is sort of like as if they were like your like little baby again but like, older kind of thing but um, yeah just like love them even though you like wouldn’t love them but just show it in ways so that we know it as well.

Boy - My Mum gives still gives me a hug before I go to bed, you know, I am going to be um, I admit it, my Mum does and I give her a hug back it just makes you remember you know it still gives you like a bit of your childhood roots, bit of love.