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Youth Debate by Antonia Anisy

Between exceptionally controversial commentary on Hon Phil Goff which pronounced him guilty of “slither(ing) off to Palestine” to “fondle a terrorist” by Youth MP, Edward Brownlee and the positively groundbreaking announcement by Amy Pollard that “ No, Chlamydia is NOT a flower” the General Debate at Youth Parliament heated up much to the pleasure of those sneaky Youth MP’s who must’ve believed that the Press Gallery couldn’t see them when the tried to sneak a yawn or two or, in fact, have a little pick at their nose.

By Antonia Anisy

Perhaps it should be brought to the attention of Youth MPs that they, like regular MPs who we’re always scrutinising (or is that ridiculing?) from their actions on television, do not have an invisibility cloak surrounding them the moment the place themselves into the somewhat infamous green chairs. Perchance one can condemn an excessive Harry Potter reading for this?

NCEA, NCEA, NCEA….Surely one would think that these Youth MPs who are all still currently in attendance at secondary school, would want a break from the burdens of the National Certificate of Educational Achievement? 

And if that wasn’t testing enough, surely the heavy sense of irony and insincerity that was to be found in the recurring binge drinking topics, amusing? Take what you will from that statement, if you please.

Youth MP, Amanda Hillock reminds us that a lot of us are memorising the Level Three Economics curriculum like clockwork, but original thought has yet to kill somebody.

And Hillock was not the only offender. Was personal response for an issue one was allegedly passionate about a little too much for a Monday afternoon?

“RUBBISH!!!!”

A welcomed interjection to Edward Brownlee’s contentious speech had the eyes of the Press Gallery open again after having to fall back on cynical criticism amongst ourselves for amusement when inane and clichéd topics lacking in passion were up for topic again and again. Talking about the economy was getting so passé, dah-ling!
No doubt a sensationalist, Youth MP Brownlee commanded audience attention with a divisive, disruptive and definitely distasteful disturbance to the order of the house with his risqué remarks on the personal life of Hon Phil Goff.

Whilst points of order were called, it was brought down to a “robust argument” and all we are left to wonder about is what is really on the mind of Brownlee who insists upon using the word “fondle” at least three times in under three minutes. Perhaps the use of the word “robust”, a synonym for the word “full-bodied” (and can’t we all think of connotations behind that?) was in fact, a clever pun to tell something of Brownlee’s own personal habits.

So after in-depth debate all afternoon (mothers are right, you know. Teenagers are full of demands) one left the debating chamber with several pertinent thoughts lingering. What are we going to do to stop binge drinking? What is this country going to do to stop youth gangs? Will stereotypes ever be a thing of the past? But, most pressingly, of course, what WAS Edward Brownlee thinking?!

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